Monday, August 3, 2009

Pineapples - My Thoughts

Dear Madam,





Today i purchased a pineapple from your store and was lead to believe that i would gain magical powers from eating its flesh. I now realise that you are actually a vampire and in pitching your sale you were assuming vampire practices were common amongst the mortal human being culture. However, i must insist that i bring back the pineapple (seen below) as i believed pineapples to be inanimate and this clearly isn't...






I trust that you will endeavour to accommodate my pineapple needs in the future, after all i feel almost stripped of my dignity during a 45min dinner party with friends and family from Walt Disney's The Lion King because i was eating a pineapple-less Hawaiian pizza! Simba was once again a sad lion.

yours sincerely
-Tex Phillips

2 comments:

  1. that's not a pineapple. it's a MONSTER!!! RUN!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shit...
    well thats vampire sales lady = 1
    -Tex Phillips = 0

    I'll cook her a good steak though...
    she'll love it
    right in the heart

    ReplyDelete

 

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